Life Is Free But Are You?
You have to change several things about how you think and how you do things. How you feel isn't going to go away until you make these changes. It will return each time you repeat the same behavior. Your pain now may be more than it ever has been, but pain for you has been consistent actually for some years just in different forms. That is why you need to change, all around, how you do things, because pain should never be a consistency.
You have gotten where you are by making ... lets say alternate choices than you should have made and how you feel is a direct result of those choices. To change how you feel you must change how you act and how you do things and more importantly you must change how and why you make decisions. The more you continue to do what you have always done and see how you have always seen the more you feel what you don't want to feel and pain will remain a consistency.
You cannot ever repeat behavior or mistakes. You have to change what you do on the all around and not just here and there where you think you need to. In the end you should be unrecognizable to yourself and even to others and that is when you take a clear and free step forward in the direction you are meant to.
Who you are right now is not who you were born to be.
If you stay where you are, in the Mundane's Limbo, you will be just like everyone else. You will have given up your birthright (the life you were destined to have the moment the universe breathed life into your form) and you will give up any chance at happiness. Hardly anyone becomes what they were born to be. Do you wish to join the ranks of the lost?
You did a lot to get to where you are and that doesn’t mean no one but you recognized that effort. You did a lot to survive and no one is saying that that shouldn't be commended. The truth of it is that there is a futility in all you have done and no matter how much you want to hold onto it because of all you went through, you have to let it go if you want to have a life that is not a battleground of past and future.
How you have lived up until now has been on a foundation of pain, fear, and negative motivations (Whether you care to believe that or not right now is not the point). The foundation needs to change. And since foundation is the very thing that you build your life upon that means that your entire life needs to be uprooted and replanted in a new foundation.
For example, you can spray weeds topside every time they grow or you can tear them out at the root. its up to you how long you want to play games with them and when you want to strike at the very heart of what has caused them to grow. It's easy to just walk by and spray something versus getting the gloves on, the tools out, and kneeling down in the dirt to dig up the roots.
My methods strike at the root – at the foundation - they don't just spray the surface. In this they are faster and more effective but require more effort. Do the work now, on your knees, with your hands deep in the dirt of the corrupted earth so you never have to do it again. Then you start over with the right foundation. There are some people don't want to knock a whole building down. They'd rather just fix the parts that are breaking. a patch here, a patch there. But the truth is that your rotting from below.
It's for you to decide how much work you want to do. How long you want to hold onto your pain as if its a warm blanket? How long you wish to hold onto the person you have painfully become?
If you want change you have to take the steps towards change. These steps are a process and not instantaneous. There are some changes you can make in an immediate sense and other changes that will take longer. The length of time is dependant on how long it takes you to see and accept the truth of your life. The more you fight the truth the longer you will feel unnecessary pain.
It's not about what you believe, its about what IS. It's not about what you wish were true, it's about REALITY. It's not about all you have done to survive up till now, it's about whether you understand that surviving is not actually living. Do you want to live or do you only wish to survive?
If you wish to live then you have to move out of that fortress of yours and build a new house, in a new world, on a new foundation. That means you have to clean out your car, your closet, your footlocker, and drop everything from your back. It means you leave everything behind. Everything.
There are two sides to every life ... a dark side and light side. The light side requires no toll, no sacrifice, no pain ... the dark side does. So if your life is filled with toll booths, sacrifice, pain, and futility, whose path do you think you're walking on? Life is easy. It's people's lack of faith that makes it hard. It's like the short line at the store that no one stands in because how could something just be short like that. What's the catch. What's the sacrifice. What's wrong with it. Sometimes the line is simply short.
Everyone thinks to have something you have to sacrifice, struggle, and walk through fire to be worthy. What you fail to realize is that you were worthy the day you were born. You don't owe a pound of flesh back to the universe for granting you a part of itself. Your birth; your existence, is a gift. What you leave behind of your goodness is a blessing for the universe to pass on. The energy of your life that is recycled into the next born is a gift you give. You don't have to do anything except live. You owe nothing to your next life except freedom from regret.
People say nothing in life is free ...
Life is free.